(THERE'S ALWAYS A REASON BEHIND IT)
We were sitting outside on the bench.
After coming out, or shall I say getting rolled, out of the boy’s dorm, Matt put the laundry basket in a random classroom and we just walked outside, both busy in thought.
It was awkward. The kiss, the random room visit, the basket incident. It was very awkward between us. We were both looking in front of us. There was a trees and trees and trees. Nothing special to be honest. But it looked like a massive forest was just there. Normally I would explore but I don’t know, for some reason I’ve changed.
After 5 minutes and 32 seconds (yes I was counting), I felt Matt’s eyes on me. I didn’t want to look at him. Not because it would be awkward but we were too close to each other and if I looked at him, I would end up getting lost in his eyes.
‘Hey.’ He said. I couldn’t help but look at him. He was staring at me. His face filled with concern and curiousness. Normally, I would never know what he’s feeling but since we were sitting so close, I kind of did. His eyes were still so mysterious. Blue. They were so blue. Bluer than I’ve ever seen them. It was weird. The feeling I was having right now. It was the same feeling when I kissed him and even after.
‘Firstly….’ He said, still staring at me. ‘You need to not bite your lip like that.’
I frowned. I was biting my lip? Damn, I didn’t even know. And even if I was, I don’t understand why he was annoyed by it.
‘Why?’ I said, feeling kind of annoyed.
‘Just…Just don’t.’ He said, staring at my lips.
I rolled my eyes. ‘That is so typical of you. Telling me not to do things. You know, you have no right to tell me what I can’t do.’
He was looking into my eyes now. And the feeling was back again. This weird feeling.
I quickly looked back at the trees.
‘Can we just talk about what happened and then go our separate ways?’ I said.
‘Okay.’ He said. It was obvious he was hurt but I couldn’t do anything. I was hurt too.
He stopped looking at me and looked back at the trees.
‘Why were you in my room?’ He said.
I sighed,’ because I’m stupid.’
‘Why? What did you do?’ He said.
I looked at him. He was still looking at the trees at the far end.
‘Because I was embarrassed about what happened yesterday. I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.’
He looked at me and smiled. ‘You thought I was hurt?’
He laughed lightly. ‘I wasn’t hurt. I was just confused.’
‘What?’ I said, confused now.
He put shuffled a bit so he was looking at me properly. ‘Well, i never knew you had an anger problem and when you did that-‘
‘You got scared? You thought I was going to hurt you?’
He smiled again. That beautiful smile. ‘No, of course not. It was just so…’
‘Relatable, I guess.’ He put his hand through his hair. ‘Well, I do that a lot. Get angry at tiny things so it was good to meet someone who’s like me.’
I was speechless. This isn’t what I was expecting. I was expecting them to think im weird, or crazy… not.. relatable.
He looked into my eyes. ‘You don’t need to apologise for something that I do too.’
‘Doesn’t it annoy you?’ I whispered. I couldn’t trust my voice so I had to whisper.
‘No.’ He whispered back.
We looked at each other for a long time, trying to see through each other. I couldn’t but I knew he could see through me.
I looked down at my hands again. ‘So is that all? Nothing more to discuss? Right?
‘Yeah I guess.’ He said. I can still feel him looking at me and I couldn’t take it anymore.
‘I should go.’ I said. I got up to go but then Matt quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. I gasped as he pushed me closer to him.
Instead of shouting at him or hitting him or trying to get off him, I just stared into his eyes.
I didn’t know what he was thinking but all I knew was that he was staring at my lips.
We were so close that our noses touched for a second.
‘Matt, what are you-‘
‘Kiss.’ He said.
My eyes widened.
He looked into my eyes again. ‘Er, I mean, we forgot to talk about the kiss we had.’
‘Yeah, that was weird.’ I whispered. He was still holding me so tightly.
‘Yeah but well, it was…something…right?’ He said, reading my face.
‘Well,’ I whispered. ‘It was something…’
He looked at me a little smile spreading on his face.
But I wasn’t finished. ‘I think its better if we both forget about it.’
His smile vanished.
I looked down. I didn’t want to see him hurt. I didn’t want to feel pain. I just didn’t want to see him sad.
I quickly let go of his warm embrace and walked away. I wanted to look back. I wanted to do something but I know if I did, it would be obvious. It would be obvious that I really liked him.
Wow.. its been a while.. hasn't it?
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