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(She was not a saint)

Emily thought about her stillborn child, and she still couldn't help being sad. 

With tears welling in her eyes she spoke, "If you have forgotten, I can remind you of everything that you did to hurt Jacob and me... Speaking of being sorry, you should feel sorry for everything."    

Jack's face turned gray. Every word she said stabbed him in the heart like an ice-pick. Then he closed his eyes in disappointment. He was afraid to look at the expression on her face.    

It was true that he had brought all these troubles on himself.    

This was retribution for all of the bad things which he had done.   

 He had no right to blame others.    

"I'm sorry, Emily."  

"You don't have to tell me you're sorry." She realized her gaffe and wiped away her tears, "You lost the use of your legs because of Beryl. You saved her. I really thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I will do my best to make it up to you."    

She knew that it was a great blow to him to be paralyzed. But she had suffered no less than he had.    

Who should be the one to blame? It was hard to say.   

 "You can contact me after you make up your mind." She wrote down her contact information on a nearby notepad, then she set it down on the desk.    

However, he grabbed her hands suddenly and held on so tightly with an expression of panic on his face, "Emily, please don't go. Please listen to me... I don't want any compensation. I just want..."   

She struggled to pull away his hands, "What do you want?"  

He looked at her intensely, with eyes full of guilt and regret, and unspeakable sadness. When he spoke, he enunciated every syllable with great difficulty, "I just want your forgiveness..."    

Her eyes met his unflinchingly, and after a moment she released her fingers one by one before replying firmly, "That's impossible."    

She was obliged to thank him and compensate him for Beryl. But she would never forgive what he had done.   

 Those were injuries so grave as to be carved into her very bones. When she had thought that Jacob had died it was as if she had wanted to die also.    

That was the most desperate moment in her life.    

And the second child she lost.   

 She was not a saint, and she would never forgive Jack for what he had done.  

"Emily..." Watching her turn and leave without looking back, his thin face seemed to lose vigor. Although he was still young, his face had become lined like an old man's.  

Would she really never forgive him?    

He would live in sorrow for the rest of his life. Never be able to earn redemption.    What was the difference between living this way and being dead?  

  It would be more painful than death.    

He looked numbly at her departing back, and the light in his eyes flickered like a dying candle. In his chest, his heart seemed to stop beating.   

 He raised his hand and slowly covered his heart.    

His home used to filled with flowers and lush grass because of her, but it turned into a desert after she left. So did his heart.  

Her refusal had now set a fire in his heart. From now on the seeds of love would never more flower there. His soul had become a barren wasteland.    

At the very beginning, it was he who had ruined everything for himself.    

Ah, retribution.    

When she reached the door, a bodyguard in a black suit suddenly barred her way, stopping her from leaving. Still she refused to look back.    

Jack, who had been silent, said hoarsely, "Let her go."    

The bodyguard immediately stepped aside, "Miss Emily, please."    

Collecting Beryl from the waiting room, she left the hospital quickly.   

 Her daughter hesitated though and looking back said, "Mommy, I haven't said anything to Uncle Jack yet."  

"He needs rest. Maybe next time." She didn't explain more, for she didn't want Beryl to know what he had said. He had said those words without thinking.   

 It would hurt her little heart.    


In Tyrone Mansion    

Emily returned with Beryl. As she entered the door, she could sense an atmosphere of gloom and depression.   

The very air seemed to echo from some battle which had taken place in her absence. "Where did you go today?" 

Emily heard Jacob asked flatly, so she answered, "I went to visit my parents today. Then I went to see a patient."   

 Jacob nodded. It couldn't be said whether he was happy or angry from his handsome face. Revealing nothing, he asked the baby-sitter, "Take Beryl upstairs."  

The baby-sitter nodded and took the child in her arms.    

But Beryl squirmed restlessly in her arms and showed some reluctance to comply.

 "No. I don't want to go upstairs. I want to play here."    

Emily had no idea what was going on with Jacob, so she gently kissed Beryl's head to comforted her, "Dear Beryl, mommy will accompany you soon. 


Beryl then finally nodded tamely, "You'd better hurry up."    

Then only Jacob and Emily were left in the living-room.    

Although he was sitting, he was still superior over everyone and he was now looking down on the woman in front of him, "Emily, I ask you for the last time. Where did you go with Beryl?"  

Recently, he had gone to work and returned back home at the same time every day, so that he could see Emily. This had become almost habitual.    

But today, the house had suddenly been empty. He returned to find them gone.  

  At first he worried that Emily had run away with their daughter. As a result he had become so enraged that he almost killed the staff who had failed to stop her.   

 He didn't kill them simply as that would have taken too much time. Instead he sent employees to the city police to copy surveillance footage of the whole city.  

  Millions of thoughts and fears had plagued his mind.    

Would something terrible happen to a woman and her child while they were outside? There were many cars on the streets. At times Emily seemed to be a little fugue, and he worried that she didn't have the sense to avoid getting run over by a speeding car.  

Another thought hit him then. What if they had been kidnapped because she was his wife and Beryl his daughter?   

 Anxiety was an unfamiliar feeling to him, and he was ready to turn over the whole of Jing City to find her if need be.   

 Soon, his subordinates had located their whereabouts though.    

Emily took Beryl to the cemetery to visit her foster parents, and then they went to the hospital to visit a patient.    

The relief was instant, but when he saw the name of the hospital, he became furious.    

How dare she go to see Jack without his permission!    

Great! Did she still have feelings for her ex-boyfriend, hence the secret visit?   

 She even took their daughter with her. Did she want to find a new daddy for Beryl?  

She hadn't even had a chance to answer him, when she saw him take a note from his pocket. Slowly he opened it to reveal the exact slip of paper which she had written her contact information on for Jack!    

"How did you get that..."   

 He ripped the paper to pieces, cutting her off. Throwing the shreds down negligently, they flurried to the floor like snow.  

  Suddenly she had an intensely cold sensation at the pit of her stomach.    

She understood now that he was angry.    "You just can't change your nature, can you?" Rising, he crossed the space between them with a few long strides, "You seduce other men behind my back when I am not at home. Tell me. How many times have you done this before?" 


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