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( Be Strong To Live On (1)

He took a deep breath as he pulled the blanket that was falling off from her. “Na Na, I’m sorry. It’s me… It’s my fault!”

Shen Wenna came back to her senses when she felt the warm touch of his fingers. She raised her head and blinked her eyes several times. All she could see was pitch black.

“Get me a glass of water and you can go back.” After some time, Shen Wenna finally said something again. Her tone was calm, so calm that he could not hear any emotions in them.

“Okay, I’ll get you some…” Xi Mushan endured the pain in his chest and quickly poured her a glass of water. He carefully held it in front of her. “Here, Na Na, it’s hot.”

Xi Mushan took her hand and guided her to hold the glass.

Shen Wenna took the glass, her face still as beautiful as ever. She carefully took a sip before asking, “Am I going to be blind forever?”

Xi Mushan felt a sharp pang in his heart and he quickly grabbed her cold hands. “No, Wenna. You’ll get better. You’ll be able to see. I’ll stay by your side. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see anymore. I’ll be your eyes. Na Na, don’t be sad. I’m your eyes.”

A plain smile appeared on Shen Wenna’s pale face and she shook her head morosely. “There’s no need. Thank you, Xi Mushan. You can go back now. We’re not related any longer, so you don’t have to do this.”

“I’m not leaving, Wenna. This time, I’ve decided that I won’t let go of you again no matter what. It’s been twenty over years. It’s more than enough. I just want to be selfish for once. I just want to be with you. You can repel me, hate me, or even look down on me, but that isn’t enough to diminish my determination. If doing all that can help you feel better, I’ll accept them. At least, I can be happier.”

A bitter taste filled his throat. All the worry, unease, and pain in his chest… They poured out like a flash flood, unstoppable.

“Please don’t reject me, Na Na. I’ll take care of the other matters. I’ll protect you and you alone, so please don’t reject me. All these years, the only person I can’t get over is you. I thought you’d be better if I left, but I…”

Xi Mushan’s eyes welled up with tears. He could not finish his sentence as he saw a self-mocking expression on Shen Wenna’s face as he turned his head away.

“What good are your words now? We’re not related anymore. Please leave. I don’t need your pity.”

Shen Wenna grabbed the glasses as she lowered her head. “Yue Lingsi should be happy now. I really can’t bother you guys anymore. Isn’t it time for you guys to stop bothering me?”

“Na Na, please don’t say that… I’m the one who kept bothering you, not the other way round. I can’t get over you. I know it’s just going to bring pain and hurt to you, but I can’t control myself. I thought I could forget everything by staying far away, but I’d miss you whenever I quieted down. If I’d been braver back then, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.”

Xi Mushan held onto Shen Wenna’s hand tightly. “Why is being together so tough for us?”

“I just want to stay with you, Na Na. I want to make up to you for the past twenty years. I can still bring you to the peach blossoms even if you can’t see. I can still bring you to the sea. I’ll describe the sceneries for you. We don’t have to be bothered by anything else.”

“Okay, stop it, please go back. I want to be alone for a while. Can you grant this request of mine?”

Xi Mushan stared at her for a while before he took the glass from her and put it back. He then left the room without saying anything.

The tears that gathered in Shen Wenna’s eye started falling when she heard the sound of the door shut. The tears fell right onto her palm, and in a short while, her palms were all wet.

The feelings she had been suppressing all this while all came out.

Was she going to be blind forever?

Did she have to bid farewell to the wonderful world, and only have eternal darkness awaiting her?

She had so many things that she had not accomplished yet. She had not seen Xiaye and Ah Chen get married. She had not seen her grandchildren yet. She had not finished consulting the kids in school about their thesis. How could she just go blind like this?

Shen Wenna was sobbing in anguish. The pain and suffering she endured in the past twenty years gushed out all at once.

She was just trying to live a quiet and simple life. Why did she face such a cruel fate?

Some said that love was blind. It could make one do whatever it took.

Did this just describe the relationship between her, Xi Mushan, and Yue Lingsi?

Just how many people were suffering endless sadness for many years because of love? Just like her right now.

They had been struggling in this vortex for twenty over years. They were trapped and no one could get out.

Was it a mistake to just stay strong along all these years?

Maybe she should have found an exit herself.

The more Shen Wenna thought about it, the more tears fell. Xi Mushan’s vision became blur with tears as he watched Shen Wenna through the small window on the door.

Xi Xiaye, who rushed over behind him, teared up as well. She watched Shen Wenna on the bed as well as Xi Mushan who had lowered his head and covered his eyes.

After a long moment of silence, she walked past him and opened the door.

Shen Wenna swiftly wiped away her tears when she heard the sound of the door opening. She stopped crying as she turned her head away, and blinked the tears away.


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