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(How Can Love Be Explained? (1)

When Xi Mushan brought the bonsai to Xi Jiyang’s room, Xi Jiyang was about to sit down on the sofa with the help of a maid.

He was put on IV drips almost every day for the past few days and seemed out of energy and quite weak. He did not even have the strength to get up by himself.

Xi Mushan had already gotten on the phone with Doctor Li earlier to understand the situation. Xi Jiyang was in a bad way, or maybe it was also because of his bad mood that the effect of his recovery was minimal.

Xi Jiyang did not like hospitals and would not go to the hospital unless it was his last resort. Xi Mushan knew why this was the case. He heard that his mother had passed away during a difficult birth at the hospital, so Xi Jiyang resented the hospital a lot.

“Are you feeling better today?” Xi Mushan put the bonsai onto Xi Jiyang’s bedside cabinet so that he would be able to see it whenever he looked up.

Xi Jiyang sat down on the sofa. He inhaled strenuously, then said a little weakly as he waved for the maid to retreat, “Feeling much better. If you’re busy, you don’t have to come back. I know you don’t like how the atmosphere at home is like either.”

The maid knowingly bowed and then retreated, closing the door.

Xi Mushan walked up to Xi Jiyang and sat down on the sofa across him. He poured Xi Jiyang a cup of water.

Seeing the lonely expression on Xi Jiyang’s aged face, Xi Mushan felt bad too. He said with a frown, “Work is alright. You should let the maids bring you out to walk around more. The scenery in the backyard is quite good and will be helpful for your recovery. Breathe in some fresh air and maintain a brighter mood.”

“I know my body well. I’m afraid that after my fall this time, I won’t be able to keep holding on. You don’t have to worry too much. Life and death are up to fate. I’m happy to be able to reach this age of mine,” Xi Jiyang said calmly. Although his aged voice sounded very relaxed and there was not much struggle or sadness, the more he acted like this, the sadder it made Xi Mushan feel.

He did not know what he could say to console him. After some thought, Xi Mushan said, “You will live long.”

Xi Jiyang smiled as his trembling hand reached up to the table and lifted the cup. However, just as he picked it up, he spilled the water all over himself. He could not even hold the cup steady.

Xi Mushan quickly got up and walked over, helping him to lift the cup and bringing it to his parched lips. Xi Jiyang held the cup with two hands before he could steady it and drink some water with much difficulty.

When Xi Mushan saw this, an aching surfaced from his still heart. He looked at the bonsai that he had just put on the bedside cabinet, and then at Xi Jiyang, who was like a flickering candle in the wind.

“I know my own body. I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold on for long. When I leave, you might be able to live better. I know that all these years, you’ve been very considerate about me,” Xi Jiyang sighed and passed Xi Mushan the cup to put back onto the table. He looked at him with dimmed eyes., “Haven’t you been resentful of me all these years?”

“That’s not true.” Xi Mushan sat back down.

“I can see for myself the love between you and Wenna. Both of you are such stubborn people. Now, maybe it was my fault, so you should resent me,” Xi Jiyang lamented. The heaviness that had accumulated for a long time in his heart was suddenly relieved at that moment. “All these years, you’ve been tired out from your persistence. If you want to be freed of that right now, I won’t stop you.”

When he heard Xi Jiyang, irony crossed Xi Mushan’s steadfast expression. He looked like he was laughing at himself. “How do I be freed? I’ve long fallen into a ghost town and have no way out. This life has just been wasted away. How else can I be freed?”

Xi Jiyang’s expression darkened while his aged eyes were looked apologetic. “I should’ve stopped them back then. I thought that they didn’t have any ill intentions, but after the thing happened, I noticed that something was not quite right, so I made up for it.”

When he said this, Xi Jiyang suddenly sighed. Then, he calmed himself down for a while before slowly reaching into his pocket and taking out a bunch of keys. Gently, he put them on the table in front of him.

“Inside the safe is the roll of film I managed to get. The password is you and your mother’s birthday. Your mother should have none of it. Destroy it, then they won’t be able to threaten you anymore. As for what you want to do after this, do as you wish. I’ll come up with a way to help you divorce Yue Lingsi. If you want to go look for Shen Wenna, then go.”

Xi Jiyang closed his eyes weakly. Even speaking for a while made him feel weak and worn out. He breathed in and then continued, “I know you’ve been spending a lot of effort looking for this thing all these years. Now that you have it, the threat’s removed too. How you should redeem yourself after this, I can’t help you.”

When he heard Xi Jiyang, Xi Mushan’s sharp gaze fell onto the bunch of keys before Xi Jiyang. Surprise lit his eyes. “How did you get it?”

Xi Mushan knew how well Deng Wenwen had hidden these things. He had looked for 20 years but still could not get it.

“After Xiaye signed that contract to transfer her shares, I hired someone to follow her. Earlier, I managed to get the password to her safe, and indeed, I found those things as well as the proof of yours and Xinyi’s DNA compatibility back then.”

When this was mentioned, Xi Mushan’s eyes darkened.

How could he forget that between them there was still a shred of evidence that could not be erased? Xi Xinyi!

He lowered his head sadly as he stared defeatedly at the bunch of keys. There was a sudden sorrow in his heart. Many times, he had imagined how their lives could have been, yet he still dared not imagine the hope of having her again. He dared not fantasize the scene of the three of them happily together again.

Xi Mushan did not say anything, but the loneliness and bleakness could not be concealed on his handsome face. He lowered his head silently and let the heartache spread all over him as he closed his eyes. After a long while, he opened them and returned to his previous calm.

“Now that the children are all grown up, you two should plan for yourselves. You can’t just live the rest of your life like this. I’ve also endured till this moment before… before I understood… that life is short. I just… I just hope that you can live well. Otherwise, I won’t pass on peacefully…”

Xi Jiyang’s aged voice held a helpless sigh. “If only back then, if the two of us had persisted, maybe everything would’ve been much more peaceful… Otherwise…”

Xi Jiyang did not continue. When he saw Xi Mushan remain silently, his energy waned and he muttered something about being tired.



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