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      🖤{My Boss Demands}🖤

   EPISODE 35. {Regrets.. Wrongdoings.}




     My eyes shoots open and I sigh, looking around my entire environment and trying to understand what's going on cause for sure, I know that this isn't my room. 

I close my eyes back to gather my thoughts once again and a gasp slides through my throat as every pieces comes together once again. 

Sebastian. Please, I don't want to get married to you. 


I would love to take you over to your place but that jerk would probably will want to come back after you so is it alright if I take you to my place? 

I'm fine guys, I'm at Alexander's. 

Everything is fine Ryan, I'm okay now. 

It's wrong and I shouldn't be even doing it! 

It's so wrong and it's not right and yet, I'm loving every moment of it! 

Well, I have a boyfriend and I love him! 

You're my boss, this shouldn't be happening please. 

Look at me in the eye and tell me that you don't want me to touch you. That you don't want this. 

Because I like it! 

Will you put on my shirt now? 

God! You taste so damn fucking good! 

Oh god, Alexander. I'm close! 

The events of last night comes rushing through me and I slowly rise up from the bed that I'm on, turning to my side and I gasp as I see Alexander beside me and when I try to get away from him, I can't because his hand is draped around my waist and I'm panicking already. 

Oh god. What have I done? What have I done? What the hell have I done? God, this should never have happened. This is exactly what I'm always running away from. This is what I'm always trying to prevent. What I was trying to prevent and now, it's here. It really happened and words can't explain how bad I feel right now. 

How terrible I feel at the moment. 
Oh god, how could this have happened?! How could I have done this to Ryan! To myself! I betray him! I did something so bad. So wrong, this isn't right and I curse at myself for doing this! 

I shouldn't even be here in the first place. I should be at Ryan's, with Ryan. We should be going through this together because he's my boyfriend and instead, I'm at my boss. 
One that I can't control myself with, one that I'm actually sexually attracted to and now this has happened. 
I cheated in Ryan and there's no greater pain than this. 
Knowing what I have done and how I had enjoyed it, there's no greater pain knowing how I had been beneath my boss, moaning his name over and over again while he had been there, probably sick worried about me. It makes me feel so guilty, makes me feel so bad of myself and I should because I'm a bad person!

Looking down at his hand that's dropped around my waist, I push it off me and jump down immediately, staring down at myself in his shirt. 

I shake my head repeatedly to try and get the memories off my mind but they wouldn't budge. 
They remain there, torturing me and reminding me of who I had just betrayed. Reminding me of how bad a person I am. 
Hurting me over and over again with the pains that comes with the memories.

I left someone I have known almost the entire of my life worried and then let someone I barely know touch me in ways that aren't right at all. Ways that shouldn't have happened at all. 

I shake my head repeatedly as I finally pull his shirt over me, I stare at him on the bed before walking to the bathroom that's in the room and I lock the door behind me, knowing that this isn't my place and he could just barge in if he wants to. 

Why the hell didn't I controlled myself even more than that? 
I could have controlled myself but I couldn't! I didn't! 
I should have pushed back even more, insisted on standing on my ground but instead, I had been swept right off my feet. 

I shake my head as the tears burns my eyes and I step under the shower, turning it in and vigorously rubbing my skin trying to get every scent away from my body. Every smell that reminds me of it. 

I wish I could just erase the last twenty four hours of my life. That's how badly I regret what happened. 


   Damn! You guys think she should be feeling like this?🤧🙃

   Drop your thoughts off, lemme read them.

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