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    {๐Ÿ’˜Searching for love๐Ÿ’˜}

            Episode  77.


I stagger up from the bed, my breathing hard and my chest heaving up and down  
Oh god 
The nightmares again.
Sebastian again! 

 I get up from the bed and pour myself a glass of water before gulping it all down at once, still breathing heavily. 
He has always been taunting me and he wouldn't stop doing so. 
He keeps taunting me every time I close my eyes to sleep. 
I can't sleep anymore cause every single time I close my eyes, I see him. 
It's starting to drive me insane. 
 I sigh as I drop the glass and walk back to the bed, sitting on it and staring to at the ceiling.. I actually found a solution to my problem. 
I found Connor who never let me be in that state again  
When he was with me, I didn't have any nightmare and there was no Sebastian but of course, I chased him off and he doesn't want me anymore.  

 He says he needs some time but what do I do if he doesn't come back to me. 
No, I can't stay here like this.
I need to get to him. Beg him and ask for forgiveness for everything I've done to him. 
I just need him to forgive me. 

 I grab my jacket off the couch including my car keys and walk out of the room, walking downstairs. 
Stephan already went out to gaming with some friends so I had nothing to worry about.

 I got out of the house after making sure I lock the door and place the key under the porch where Stephen will be able to see it in case he gets back earlier than me. 

 I get inside the car and drive out before starting the car. 
I place my hands on the steering wheel and take in a deep breath. 
I'm really doing this.
There's no turning back, I'm really going to Connor and I'm begging him for one last chance. 
He has always been the one begging .
He has always been the one asking for more chances. 
He has always been the one who does something but now, that's role has been reserved. 

 Now I'm the one wrong here. 
I'm the one that did something stupid and I'm the one that would be begging for one more chance. 

 I start the car and start driving off. 
Thankfully for me, I don't have to find out where his house is since I already know there all thanks to the fact that we had been doing business together . 

 What will I start if I get there? 
How will I start? 
I can't just get there and ask him to forgive him. 
I will have to say something  
That right! Love, I would have to tell him how much I love him  
I must have been really stupid not to realize that. 
I was foolish and I couldn't understand the fact that he didn't use me. 
He only wanted someone who would love him not for his money nor did his looks but for who he truly is. 

 And I do. I really do  
I love him even if he wasn't rich. 
I didn't fell in love with the looks, I fell in love with the person and the character. 
I love that he always makes me smile  
I love that he has always been there for me. 
I love that he didn't give up on me,  even though I was being a pussy to him. 
I couldn't openly tell him about my feelings cause I was afraid but now, I do. 

 I'm ready to do everything for him to know that I love him. 
I'm ready to show him that I love him. 
I just pray it doesn't get too late now.



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