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    {💘Searching for love💘}

    Episode         59.


I watch as he walks out of the room. I want to rub after him and tell him that everything is gonna be fine but nothing is fine. Nothing is. 
I've always been hurt one way or the other. 

 He says says she's her ex but I still can't get that image out of my head. 

 I lay my head back on the bed to sleep and his image comes to my head.
He's back again. 
Back again to taunt me. 
I close my eyes to get that image out of my head but it's not leaving. 
I can see his face. 
He's smirking at me. Telling me no one would want me. 
Telling me I'm his and his only. 
I'm his to kill, his to do whatever he likes. 
I'm his to shatter and his to dishonor. 
My body belongs to him; he has told me. 
All of me belongs to all of him. 

 I shake my head and try fighting the image off but it's not leaving. 
It's like it's here, closer even more than ever. 
I can feel like he's here, right in front of me. Smiling at me like he always does and saying all those words that I hate to hear. Taunting me and destroying my mind. 

 I shake my head harder and within moments, I shoot. I scream and yell, I couldn't the it anymore. 
I just want him gone but with each shout, his voice in my head gets more louder.
It feels like I'm losing my mind. 
I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do it. 
I just want him gone but he wouldn't budge. 
The screams didn't Block him. It's like they brought him closer but that didn't stop me. 

 I scream till my throat start hurting. 
I yell till my head starts banging and my body start shaking. 
I didn't stop, I continued screaming. 
I wouldn't stop... Not at all. 
I just want him gone. 

 The door opens and i didn't stop to look at who might have entered. 
I just continued with my head shaking. 
I give it all I had in me. 

 "Oh shit! I forgot about your nightmares! "
 Connors voice says as he runs to me and engulfs me in his arms, laying my thrashing body against his chest and my nerves calms immediately. 

 My chest heaving up and down with my breathing uncontrolled. 
He gently strokes my hair and i breathe out. 

 "I'm sorry. I forgot about your nightmare. I shouldn't have left like like that. "
 He sighs and I shake my head against his chest. 

 "it wasn't a nightmare this time. I could feel it, it was like he's here. Taunting me. I'm loosing my mind. "
 I cry and he continues patting my hair. 

 "Who's it? "
 He asks but I couldn't bring my mouth to say the bane of the man that has always causes my nightmare. 
The man that has always taunt me in my dreams and in my life. 
The man i spend the rest of my life hating and despising. 
The man I never want to see ever again. 

 "It's okay. You don't have to say who it is, just go to sleep. "
 He utters and begin to lay me on the bed and I look at him. 

 "What of you? "
 I ask and he smiles before kissing my forehead. 

 "I will be fine. I will watch over you. "
 he says and I smile as he lays beside me with his arms hugging me to his body and I breathe out slowly. 
I feel so safe in his arms. 

 "I'm sorry. "
 I mouth and he pushes his head against me. 

 "You dong have to be. I understand that you can't let anyone in right now. I understand that you can't love another just yet, I just wish you could have gave me a chance but it's alright nevertheless so go on and sleep. "
 What to do Connor? 
I lied. I think I've already let you in more than I'm willing to admit. 

 I think... I think am.. I think I'm falling in love with you slowly. So so slowly. 

 "Sebastian. "
 I mutter and my eyes closed on their own accord.



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