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(πŸ’˜Searching for loveπŸ’˜)

         Episode        58.


 I lay quietly on the bed inside the tent and I roll over and over again.
I don't know why they have to place me together with a girl, who does that? 

 I shake my head off the thoughts and try to close my eyes. 
Isabelle... It seems like she likes that guy. Connor. 
Cannot is really nice, I will give him the credit for that and I don't think he would ever hurt her. 
I can see it in his eyes, he deeply truly cares for her but there's still something off. 

 I don't know but anytime I look at his face, I can feel like something is off. 
I'm not pleased with what he present himself as. 
I feel like I've seen that face before, even though he said he has never seen me. 
I feel like I've seen him before, I just can't point out when and where. 
I keep trying to remember but the memory won't just come. 

 I sigh before turning to my other side and the girl is staring at me, I shift back immediately. How creepy. 

 "Are you okay? "
 She asks, staring deeply into my eyes, I had to look away from the intensity of her gaze. 

 "You keep rolling so I thought something was troubling you. "
 She says again and I only shake my head and turn to the other side. 

 What could those two be doing right now? 


 I kiss her with all I had in me. The love. The affection. The care. Everything I feel for her, I pour into the kiss. 
Her lips tasted just like it always does, feels so soft and perfect against mine. 

 Just how much I've fallen head over heels in love with this girl and she thinks I would want any other woman that isn't her. 
She really makes me laugh but I can't deny how happy I am with the fact that she cares. 

 My hands goes to her waist and I use the other to try and lift her legs to my waist but with her hands, resting on my chest she push me slightly away. 
I try to attach our lips together again but she shakes her head and turn her head a little. 

 I look at her with my brows slightly raised and a sigh leaves her full lips. 

 "I'm sorry. "
 She mutters and my chest start beating faster. 
What's she sorry for? 

 "You've no reason to be sorry. "
 I mutter, trying to pull her to myself again but she shakes her head. 

 "I can't continue this. "
 As the words tumbles out of her mouth, I try to ignore the sting that follows it. 

 I keep my hands in my pocket before sighing and nodding. 

 "You don't want anything between us anymore? "
 I raise my brows and she remains silent. 

 "Answer me Isabelle, if you don't want anything between us anymore. Just say it. 
I promise, I won't ever come to you again.
I will leave this house the moment morning breaks and you won't have to see this face ever again. I promise you that. You just have to say the word. "
 I say and stares at her. 
"Isabelle.. "
 I call and her eyes shoot at me. 
 She closes her eyes before taking in a deep breath while I all did was just watch her. 
If she doesn't then I don't have a chance. 
I will be gone just exactly like I told her. 

 "I don't.. I don't want anything between us anymore but that doesn't mean you have to leave  "
 Her voice cracks as she stares at me from under her eyelashes and I shake my head. 
 "No, I will leave. I understand, but I can't bare staying here with you, seeing you everyday and not being able to do anything but just act like everything is okay when it's not. 
I really don't have anything to do with that girl anymore if that's what you are thinking. 
She's my ex and nothing more than that, nothing between us. 
I tried Isabelle. To show you that I won't hurt you but if this is what you want, you won't see this face ever again. "
 I smile before turning back and walking out of the room. 

 She wants me home? Then I will let go of her. 
I'm desperate for love, yes but I also know when you're not needed. 
I know when you start to become a burden and I know when someone starts feeling like you're suffocating them. 
I will just leave here. 
My company and my sister needs me anyways. 

 I just wish that it hadn't end this way. 
 I wish she had at least gave me a chance to show how I feel. 
Maybe I'm destined to remain alone forever for the rest of my life. 

 There's money and the looks and I have women flocking around me but they all want me for either my body or to just enjoy the satisfaction of having me. 

 It's time to go back home Calvin.




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