I ADORE HIM
(I Only Thought Of One Future (6)
After hearing that, Lu Bancheng understood it thoroughly. “So, if you hadn’t saved the two little boys that day, you could have met her, so did you?”
At this time, Gu Yusheng’s reaction became slower than it usually was. After a long while, he just replied with, “Yes.”
As a friend of his, Lu Bancheng knew that he was supposed to comfort Gu Yusheng, but he didn’t know what to say at this moment. After a long silence, he just said, “You must regret it very much in your heart, right?”
“Not regret…” Gu Yusheng said intermittently, “I feel quite sad… Actually, I could have stayed on the shore, but I couldn’t watch that little boy die in front of me. I also knew well that if I saved him, I might have drowned myself at that time…
“Well, you know me, I can’t do nothing when I see others in mortal danger… In fact, I thought I would really die in that river, but when I thought about how she was waiting for me, I still managed to survive…
“Bancheng, do you know? When I served in the army, I was injured a lot, but I had never been as eager to survive as I was this time.”
Lu Bancheng knew that Gu Yusheng hadn’t finished speaking, and he also knew that Gu Yusheng’s mood was depressed to the extreme. Gu Yusheng had told him these things, not in order to hear something from him, but simply for Gu Yusheng to find an emotional outlet for himself.
So Lu Bancheng didn’t say a word and just sat there quietly, listening to him.
“I wanted to survive… because she was waiting for me…” Gu Yusheng’s voice became somewhat muffled, but Lu Bancheng still heard what he said after. “I would give my life for anyone in this country, but for her, I would try my best to survive…
“However, even though I survived, she wasn’t there…
“I survived for her…” There was a tremble in Gu Yusheng’s voice. “So far, I still don’t know, I don’t know what the meaning of being alive is. I feel like life is so meaningless, you know?”
Lu Bancheng hadn’t spoken just before, because he had been listening to him carefully, while at this moment, he hadn’t said anything because he really didn’t know how to reply to Gu Yusheng.
The room was so dark that he couldn’t see Gu Yusheng’s expression, but he could feel Gu Yusheng’s immense sorrow deep down in his heart.
Gu Yusheng didn’t say anything more.
The silence was even more obvious due to the complete darkness of the room. Lu Bancheng could even hear his and Gu Yusheng’s breathing.
Neither of them knew how long a time had passed. Gu Yusheng moved his body gently and said in a slightly hoarse voice, “I haven’t felt my heartbeat in many years.”
When Gu Yusheng’s parents had passed away, and he had given up his dream, at that time, his enthusiasm had been suddenly demolished.
He had thought his life was essentially over and that he would muddle along from day to day for the rest of his existence.
When she had appeared, his blood had seemed to become fresh again, and even his heart had beat harder.
His heart, like a pool of stagnant water, had begun to resurrect, rippling into use. He hadn’t realized clearly that he had been subconsciously enlightened by a new dream, until the day he had rescued the child from drowning and he had heard her words.
And that dream was her.
But his new dream was far more tragic than the one he had given up.
At least before, he had pursued his ambitious dreams and had enjoyed them, but what about her? It had been doomed to end even before it had ever started.
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